A few weeks ago, on my substack I wrote about being right where I’m supposed to be (click image below to read article).
Today, I still believe that.
The difference is that believing it and feeling it are two completely different things.
Lately, I’ve found myself sitting in a season that feels unfamiliar. The calls haven’t come. The emails haven’t been returned. Applications seem to disappear into cyberspace. Opportunities I thought would materialize haven’t.
And if I’m being honest, it’s starting to get to me.
Not because I don’t have anything to do.
My days are filled with family, bike rides, content creation, and helping my daughters prepare for upcoming events for their cosmetics business. Those moments have been priceless. I’ve enjoyed every minute of watching them grow while helping build their brand.
But somewhere beneath the laughter, family time, and daily routines is a question I’ve been wrestling with:
What happens when God tells you to sit still when everything inside of you wants to move?”
The Weight Many Men Carry:
A couple of weeks ago, my oldest daughter sent me a text message that hit harder than she probably realized.
She asked:
“Dad, as a man, do you feel that if you’re not providing for your family, that’s all you’re worth?”
I answered her honestly.
I told her that men have dreams and goals outside of providing. We have personal aspirations. We want to accomplish things. We want to build. We want to leave something behind.
But I also told her something else.
Once a man becomes a husband and father, there is often an invisible pressure that settles on his shoulders. Whether society says it directly or not, many men grow up believing that their value is connected to what they produce, earn, or provide.
Research suggests that belief is more common than many realize.
According to the Anxiety & Depression Association of America, nearly 1 in 10 men experience depression or anxiety, yet less than half seek treatment. Experts point to societal expectations, stigma, and the pressure to remain emotionally self-sufficient as major contributing factors.
A recent survey of 2,000 men found that more than half admitted financial struggles had made them feel like they were failing at being a man. Another significant percentage said society expects men to handle financial stress silently rather than talk about it.
That statistic stopped me.
Because while my situation may not look exactly like someone else’s, I understand the feeling.
Not necessarily the feeling of failure.
But the feeling of wondering whether you’re doing enough.
When Productivity Becomes Identity:
One of the challenges many men face is separating who they are from what they do.
For years, our culture has tied manhood to productivity.
You work!
You provide!
You achieve!
You conquer!
And when any of those things slow down, it can create an identity crisis.
Researchers studying men’s mental health have found that employment, career status, and the provider role are deeply connected to how many men view themselves. When those things become uncertain, mental health often suffers.
Maybe that’s why seasons of waiting can feel so uncomfortable.
Because waiting doesn’t produce visible results.
Waiting doesn’t generate applause.
Waiting doesn’t come with promotions, titles, or accomplishments.
Waiting forces us to confront who we are when we aren’t accomplishing anything at all.
And that’s uncomfortable.
The Lesson I’m Learning in the Silence:
What I’ve discovered is that waiting may be one of the hardest assignments God gives us.
Not because we’re doing nothing, but because we’re forced to confront who we are when we’re no longer measured by productivity.
In a culture that constantly asks, “What do you do?” or “What’s next?” seasons of stillness can feel uncomfortable. Yet research continues to show that many men tie their identity to their ability to provide, achieve, and perform. When those things slow down, it can create frustration, self-doubt, and anxiety.
Maybe that’s why this season feels so challenging.
Not because God has abandoned the plan.
But because He’s teaching me that my value isn’t found in what I produce.
It’s found in who I am.
And that’s a lesson that’s much easier to write about than it is to live.
Maybe God Is Doing More Than We Think:
The older I get, the more I realize that some of God’s greatest work happens in places nobody sees.
Not on stages.
Not in boardrooms.
Not through titles.
But in the quiet moments where He’s shaping our character, adjusting our perspective, and preparing us for what’s next.
The truth is, I don’t know what comes next for me.
I don’t know when the right opportunity will show up.
I don’t know when the unanswered emails will turn into conversations or when applications will become interviews.
What I do know is that this season hasn’t caught God by surprise.
As I continue navigating this season, I find myself returning to two simple truths.
“Be still, and know that I am God.”
And:
“But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.”
Neither verse promises immediate answers.
Neither promises instant opportunities.
What they do promise is that God remains present even when progress feels invisible.
Final Thoughts:
I’m not writing this because I’ve figured it all out.
I’m writing this because I haven’t.
I’m writing this for every man who’s waiting on a phone call.
Every father wondering if he’s doing enough.
Every husband carrying pressures he rarely talks about.
Every person sitting in a season that feels quieter than they expected.
The truth is, sometimes God’s loudest lessons come through silence.
And while I can’t tell you exactly what He’s doing in this season, I can tell you what I’m learning:
- My purpose didn’t disappear because my pace changed.
- My value didn’t decrease because opportunities slowed down.
- And God’s plan didn’t stop just because I can’t see it moving.
So for now, I’ll keep showing up for my family.
I’ll keep creating.
I’ll keep praying.
I’ll keep helping my daughters chase their dreams while continuing to pursue my own.
And I’ll keep reminding myself of what I’ve believed from the very beginning:
I’M STILL RIGHT WHERE I’M SUPPOSED TO BE!
SOURCES:
Anxiety & Depression Association of America (ADAA)
Association of American Medical Colleges (AAMC)
Beyond Finance Men’s Financial Wellness Survey
Journals.Sagepub.com
Bible.com
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